turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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