They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
