this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
