Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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