My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
