i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
