What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
