I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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