Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
