Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
