Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
