Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
