So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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