If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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