Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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