I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
