Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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