just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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