I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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