just come out here and I will go home with you...
Fuck appropriateness.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
