All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
