I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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