he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
