It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.