She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.