Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
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There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
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So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?