Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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