Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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