im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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