I hate your face
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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