if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
