Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
