im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
