Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
