I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
