Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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