I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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