Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
