Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize