Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
