it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
