he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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