I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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