Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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