That's intense
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
