I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
