Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
