Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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