that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
