she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
