I wannas sexs uuuuu
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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