I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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