Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize