You smell like a Billy Joel song
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
