It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
