I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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