Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.