Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.

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(949): View more from California

You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.

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(914): View more from New York

every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now

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(248): View more from Michigan

Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(914): View more from New York

my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip

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(815): View more from Illinois

I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.

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