Swine flu. Run for my life!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
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You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
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I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket