so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
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i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize