I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.