she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?