yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
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he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
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No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way