I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
