4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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