have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
